Magic of human connection creates meaningful and genuine relationship
21st century is the era of communication. The technology has allowed us to perform faster transaction and easier communication, but unfortunately at a tremendous price of tarnishing the authentic human connection. Most of us are communicating through our devices and social media, with no sense of genuine relationship or friendship. These broken relationships are undeniable in our society, at our home or at work. Lack of authentic human connection has created the culture of indifference among us which by itself has separated us more and left us with depression and loneliness. People try to hide behind the fabricated stories and pictures on the social media and measure their self-worth with extended list of their friends, a vicious race of illusive friendship. The lost art of connection is also undeniable at workplace. Work has transformed to a location for people to “clock in”, but mostly “check out” with no desire for real engagement. The daily process at work is extremely robotic with hours of communication behind the desks and computers and a little human connection which has separated us even more. Our recent health care system is the testimonial for such a trend which has left us with burn out health professionals and unhappy patients. The problem in our health care is not the lack of communication, it is how we communicate.
Connection is creating a meaningful and genuine relationship with others which is the essential constituent of happiness and contentment in life. Creating the true connection requires many fundamental elements.
Fundamental elements to create the true connection
First and foremost is “authenticity” to allow others to see not only your strength but also your weaknesses and struggles. It is removing the protective shield and willingness for others to see your vulnerability. We are living in an era that covering our feelings and emotions and hiding behind fake stories are the norm in our society and expressing our vulnerability is perceived as imperfection. However, I argue that frailty is the reality of human beings and affirmation and expression of our imperfections which requires courage, is the core of every deep and true relationships. It is a crucial step towards a magical turf for creation of a deep connection with others. Sharing our feelings, emotions, happy and sad thoughts, struggles, and achievements are the access key to enter this sacred field.
The other required element is your “intention to be present”. It is your choice to pay attention fully and focus and just be there. However, with all the daily distractions in our lives, staying present in the moment seems so unreal and demanding. Yes, it requires practice and will. It needs mindfulness, awareness at present moment and appreciation of the opportunity to create connection with other human beings.
The other element for connection is proximity and physical closeness. It is extremely hard to create a genuine connection over the phone or through the text messages and social media. It requires your physical presence, because it involves your attitude, your posture, fascial expression, smile, eye movement and the tone of your voice. Yes, it is just in that moment when true human connection could be created.
Now, it is time to “listen”. Listening is the main element of connection. It is not just hearing the words but it is removing the prejudice, biases and wrong beliefs, crossing the space between us, entering the world of others and listening with open heart with no judgment. That brings patience, tolerance and respect into our relationships. By true listening you have the ability to hear their emotions, needs and feelings.
The other requirement for creating a true human connection is “generosity”. Generosity is giving without expecting anything in return in your relationship. Generosity brings kindness and care and creates trust. Trust is the fundamental and magical turf for sharing and experiencing human feelings and emotions, a birth place of genuine human connection.
And, at the end it is the “gratitude”, the appreciation for life, the magic of being alive and the opportunity to connect and adore others.
Now, our responsibility as the health professionals is to apply these fundamental elements to engage with our patients, their families and our colleagues in a daily basis to establish a genuine human connection which allows us to enter the extraordinary playground of trust for creating and sharing the magical human experiences.